The Cancer Journey: My Week After Chemo
Reposted from denisetam.webs.com January 10, 2010
I'm finding blogging and the jotting downof ideas and feelings very comforting so I've decided to post entries that may not necessarily have anything to do with my treatment. So for those who aren't interested or don't have time, no hard feelings!
The Three Days of Misery
Wed Jan 6:
~ Went home from the hospital and took a nap
~ ate very little, drank very little (Everytime I drank something I felt like vomiting)
~ signs of chemo working is already evident: my neck is much smaller now and some of the lymph nodes have shrunken in size
Thurs Jan 7:
~ was taken to another Chinese doctor, this one is a professor at HKBU (friends and family believe he may be more reliable since he's a professor):
The doc still told us chemo is the way to go and the chinese meds can supplement the chemo treatment. Also told us the disease will most likely come back! (He said it with such certainty and non-chalantness as if he was telling us tomorrow's forecast included rain. NOT something I wanted to hear right after my treatment!) He gave us some chinese meds to take home and make.
~ drank the two bowls of chinese meds (not bad tasting, or maybe it was because my taste buds haven't been the same since the treatment; everything tasted bland!)
~ rest of the day/night: SLEEP and just feeling ill
I would move from bedroom, to dining room to kitchen, not knowing whether i wanted to eat or drink. Well I knew I didn't want to drink but also knew it is good for me (I couldn't go to the bathroom anymore!)
~ i basically stopped taking all the supplements and juices I was taking before chemo
Fri Jan 8:
~ mom said 'enough! we're going to inject you with some Vit C!'
~ had to cross over to kowloon and wait at the doc's office
I have to wear my mask now everywhere I go, and it's just a constant reminder that I'm sick and have to be careful.
~ My "C" Doc told me I'd feel better after the drip and i DID! We decided we would give this C drip a try for two weeks (which means going everyday, except Sundays, to see whether it will help with the cancer cells and also to keep my body strong)
~ went home, and though feeling a bit better, still wanted to vom and just wanted to wallow in my misery
~ stopped drinking the chinese meds (i figured getting myself to drink water should be priority)
~ mom and dad tried to cheer me up by playing scrabble with me, but i lasted 15 minutes and decided to go to bed
~ obviously the physical part of it (nausea, constipation, fatigue, chills etc)
~ mentally: it was extremely difficult for me to swallow the chemo drugs (I had several more chemo drugs to take at home, as well as other drugs the doc gave me)
I'm not used to taking drugs (even pain killers like advil are difficult for me to swallow; no pun intended!) I had an alarm set at 3pm (the time I'm supposed to take my drugs every day) and each time it rang I had to pray to God to give me the strength to swallow the little octagon shaped pills in front of me
~ emotionally: it was too difficult to be cheerful so i let myself feel sorrow
~ spirtiually: sometimes I felt guilty for being gloomy and felt that I was asking God for too much
The Calm After the Storm
Sat Jan 9:
~ woke up feeling GREAT! Had about 9 hours of sleep!
~ went to see my "C" Doc again and this time we even braved the crowds (b/c it was the weekend and there were NO taxis and A LOT of traffic) and went on the MTR!
~ We usually bring out different types of fluids for me to drink (noni, water, breuss juice, flor essence tea), during my "three days of misery" I drank almost NOTHING (I would say barely a bottle of water). Today I started sipping on the drinks more and more and finished half a bottle of noni juice, half a bottle of water, some breuss juice and some tea!
~ took the subway home and went home to rest
~ had a VERY nice dinner at the Fish Bar (Marriott) with family. My first meal out since and it felt so good to be eating, talking and laughing with people I love so much.
Sun Jan 10:
~ woke up early and prepared myself for church
~ received so much encouragement and love from brothers and sisters at church (it touched my heart so much! thank you!)
~ had a great lunch with family and friends in Central
~ mom and I took a stroll around SOHO and did some grocery shopping at 360 (we found organic bananas!)
~ went home at 6! (still feeling energized!) and made dinner (first time I made dinner in a long time! I've missed cooking!)
~ eating lots more now
~ drinking HEAPS more
~ started taking more supplements (especially CoQ10)
~ taking in LOTS of protein
~ all in all: feeling better and feeling like I'm on the road to recovery
Don't worry my life details will stop here.
My Daily Remedy
Mornings have now become my favourite part of the day. For me it's like a new beginning, new experiences, new struggles!
Mornings are "me" time and "me and God" time. I need the "me" time partly so I can go to the bathroom! (believe it or not it takes some meditation and hard work for my bowels to start moving! haha
Before anything else, I sit up in bed, take a look outside my window and say a prayer to God thanking Him for another day. My first prayer is only of praises and thanksgiving. Then I usually pop in a CD and play a track that speaks of God's greatness and goodness.
I take a few moments to breath and I sometimes read one of the cards that is hanging on my wall before I dig into my daily Bible readings.