The Cancer Journey : O Happy Day

Reposted from denisetam.webs.com April 16, 2010

Yours truly is officially in REMISSION! 

God is good! God heals! God is love! 

After waiting almost a week for official results, we got word today from my oncologist that the bone marrow results came back negative which means that....

I, Denise Tam, who just four months ago was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 follicular lymphoma, is on this day, April 16, 2010, CANCER FREE!!! 

For some reason, it's not as liberating as some make it seem. I blame it partly on my doctor who keeps insisting that discontinuing chemotherapy is not an option. Another part of me is a bit worried about "the next step", the REAL road to recovery, the steps, decisions, changes to make that will either keep the cancer away or wake it up again from its sleep. 

It's been a great learning process for me and my family, and we're so touched and thankful for all who have lent their wisdom, support and love to us during this difficult time. 

Currently we, or I should say I, have most likely decided to stop chemo. This is solely my decision, my parents from the beginning advised against chemo but of course were supportive of my decision to go ahead with it, this decision is no different and has been a result of weeks of prayer, contemplation, research, and just general feelings towards the situation. 

So what's next? 

I will be working on recovering from the fourth chemo. My body took a beating from number 4 (my best round was round #3). Today i feel like I've been hit by a truck and am sore all over! 

From there, I will continue with my healthy eating, incorporate more physical activities into my life and get back to a more normal  working schedule. 

Thank you again for all your prayers and encouragement. This is not my last post btw! I will be sure to keep you guys all updated on my road to a real recovery! 

xoxo

Denise Reposted from denisetam.webs.com May 6, 2010 Thank you all for sharing this joyous occasion with me and my family. We're all so happy and thankful! 

I'm feeling much better this week and now that I'm off of my chemo drugs I'm feeling more and more like myself each day (now I need to constantly remind myself to wear a mask whereas before I'd be scared not to!) 

My appetite is also back to normal. When I was on steroids I had the unfortunate effects of being both nauseous and constantly hungry! Some who know how much I can eat normally are probably wondering how I could fit even more food in my stomach; news flash: it's possible!! haha

I'm still taking my juice mix every morning and taking my added meal of supplements each day. The vitamin C infusions however have been put on the back burner since my veins are still recovering. The nurse in my last chemo took about 10 minutes trying to find a visible vein, in the end she opted for a smaller one which was fine up until the end of my last drip when my arm swelled up and a blue mark (the same color as my cocktail drug). It's still feeling a bit tender from it all and the blue under my skin is still there, strange! 

Going back to work and just doing more normal things have been great! I enjoy everything I do now because I know I'm fortunate to be doing these things (I hope this feeling lasts! : ) Whether it's running errands, cooking, studying or working, I find myself excited to do these things rather than feeling like it's a chore. 

Still, I'm reminded that health should come first as the next two years are crucial in my recovery and especially since I'm not continuing with chemo, it's all the more reason to be careful in all areas of my life. With a fairly healthy body, i'm finding it difficult to take things slowly and restrict myself. I'm still learning! 

My Thursday check up at the hospital was uneventful, wbc is low as to be expected and I didn't have the guts to tell my oncologist I won't be continuing. I'll have to tell him some time this week, so please pray for strength and wisdom. 

That's all from me for now. 

xoxo

Denise